Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
