I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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