Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
