i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
