I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize