Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
