ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
