The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
