you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
