I am puke
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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