she woke up with a sticky ear
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
