you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
