You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
