she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
