Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
