their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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