As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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