Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
