Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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