Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
