I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
