Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
