It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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