where does the pee come out of this thing
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
