Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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