i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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