if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
