You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ladies don't puke and tell
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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