you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize