Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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