My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
