Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
