Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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