So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
