"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
