After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
