my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
