Your tits are I can't wait for
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
