Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
