TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
