She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
