Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
