What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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