i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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