Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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