I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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