She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
