It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
