That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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