suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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