i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
