i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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