Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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