She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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