sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
