I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
