is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
