I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
