1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
only you would photoshop your dick
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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