Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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