when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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