you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
