I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
