Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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