well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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