be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So many bounce houses so little time
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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